Monday, March 22, 2004

Burn Her at the Stake!

“The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.”—Pat Robertson, fundraising letter, 1992

Another case of wondering whether to laugh or cry, though I'm inclined to think a grin is more appropiate... Thanks to Esther Wang of The Daily Texan for the quote.

Friday, March 12, 2004

A little Christian Mysticism, For a Change

I’m in a conciliatory mood today, so I thought I’d post the following lovely passage from the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas—one of the Nag Hammadi papyri, for the heretics among you unfamiliar with these texts. I’ll return to all the nonsense on the odds of God’s existence after Spring Break next week…

Jesus saw infants being suckled. He said to his disciples, “These infants being suckled are like those who enter the kingdom.”
They said to him, "Shall we then, as children, enter the kingdom?"
Jesus said to them, “When you make the two one, and when you make the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside, and the above like the below, and when you make the male and the female one and the same, so that the male not be male nor the female female; and when you fashion eyes in the place of an eye, and a hand in place of a hand, and a foot in place of a foot, and a likeness in place of a likeness; then will you enter the kingdom.”

Thursday, March 11, 2004

Improbable do you call it Sir? I wish it were impossible!

Either Salma Hayek ends up falling in love with me or she doesn’t. Two alternatives, one possible outcome. Therefore, by the caring conservative’s argument, the odds of Salma’s being smitten with your author are 50/50!

What the hell! Since we’ve already fallen down the rabbit hole anyway, we might as well wander into Wonderland proper… By an identical process of reasoning, my chances of winning Virginie Ledoyen’s heart are 50/50 too. And since 50 + 50 = 100, it is certain I shall sleep with one of them! There is a God! Odds Erat Demonstrandum.

P.S. To the caring conservative, whoever you are. If you’re pulling my leg, I guess I fell for it.

Ode to an Odious Eventuality, or Awed by Even Odder Odds—A Trialogue

Innocence Speaks:

“Numerous women are strange but true,
But none’s as peculiar and faithful as you.”

Experience Answers:

“Be loath to depend on a friend that you spend on and baulk at a bet on a bedfellow.”

Cynicism Sneers:

“Never say nay to a roll in the hay and never turn down a turnip.”

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Od's Vengeance

The following pseudonymous comment was posted in response to that tidbit from Monday:

Statistics 101

The odds of God's existence are 50/50 because either he exists or he does not. Two choices, one possible outcome. Similarly, If I tell you I'm writing to one of my parents then the odds of me writing to a man are 50/50 because I'm either writing to my mother or father.

The caring conservative

Presumably these words were written in jest, but you just never know on the blogosphere. I’ve come across even crazier conservatives—the redoubtable Ms. Coulter, to name but one. Who art thou, sir? Identify thyself!

Father, forgive her; for she knows not what she says!

Ann Coulter tries her hand at comparative religion here, and delivers herself of some stunning and subtle theological insights.

“Being nice to people is, in fact, one of the incidental tenets of Christianity,” she writes, “(as opposed to other religions whose tenets are more along the lines of ‘kill everyone who doesn't smell bad and doesn’t answer to the name Mohammed’).”

You can beat a sword into a ploughshare, but you can’t knock sense into a Coulter

Monday, March 08, 2004

The argument from…statistics?

Here’s an amusingly preposterous example of how not to “bridge the gap between science and religion.” I especially like the good doctor’s assumption that the odds of God’s existence are 50/50. How could anybody argue with that?

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